
From my years of being in relationship with the opposite sex, I believe the key is this - romance, sexuality and attraction are great. But if they are not built upon a lasting friendship and respect for person's character, it probably will not work.
From my NOW understanding and knowledge, a real and lasting relationship must be built upon friendship FIRST! You are going to spend a lot of time with that person. As for picking a mate, I have to know that I can grow old with her. I must like spending time with her. She will make me laugh. She will also share deep spiritual values and other commonalities with me as well, as she would with any other friend.
For me, one true measure of a friend, a person with whom I like to spend time, having no regard to how I'm spending it. For example, hanging out is fulfilling in and of itself.
I have also found out being lovers with someone I would not to be friends with is no good thing at all!
Much love,
Joseph